Health Food Opponent Mugs

'As if school lunches weren't bad enough. Now, they have to be nutritious!'

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

Spontaneous Kombucha

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

Gullib-Os

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Dinosaurs ponder fad dieting prior to extinction.

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

The Nihilist Deli.

"Albino broccoli mum!"

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

Friendly bacteria

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'How the serpent tempted Eve.'

"Here there is all the bacon, pizza and beer you could desire. But do not eat from the Tree of Tofu lest you should lose paradise."

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

"I enjoy eating healthy – I just don’t like the food."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

'Eating several servings of vegetables everyday is very good, as long as they aren't just pizza toppings.'

'They're building one of those new health clubs.'

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Motor-blender.

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

'In factory farms they're fed antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and even arsenic. We give them a lot less of the antibiotics, caffeine, antihistamines and arsenic.'

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

"Is this because I didn’t eat my kale?"

"Can I substitute saltwater taffy for the five servings of seafood?"

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"Listen Matt, me and the boys think you might be overdoing this Paleo diet thing!"