Health Consultant T-Shirts

'It's new and it has really caught on!' (High Energy Bar and Grill).

'Just as I thought. You've outgrown your coverage.'

'I followed you advice for losing weight....i got naked and stood in front of a mirror...they threw me out of the restaurant.'

"It's 10000 steps a DAY, not a YEAR!"

"What I'm prescribing is so cutting edge, even I can't pronounce it."

"Eating less and exercising more. . . It's the only thing that works but how can we monetise it?"

"Frankly Mr. Watkins - all your current health issues are down to you rubbish diet..."

Alternative medicine

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'This will be a short meeting. Ed can't hold his gut in longer than 20 minutes.'

Jack felt much better, now that he was working out.

Food that is good for you and food that is good for drug companies.

ORGANIC FOODS How gross can you get?

'The reason you've healed so quickly is because you're in such good shape!'

It may help as part of your weight loss campaign...but it's a little extreme.

'That old 'diet and exercise scam' again!'

Medical Expenses.

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

'Your diet is to full of chemicals and artificial additives, I'll see what I can prescribe you to help.'

'The good news is that our latest diet products work fabulously well. The bad news is that we haven't got any customers any more!'

'Non-smokers get a 20% discount.  Smokers get a 40% discount if they name me as their beneficiary.'

"Have a seat, I'll be with you as soon as I finish my lunch"

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."