Health-conscious Thinkers T-Shirts

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Running

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

What's really in junk food...

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"Was that the crack of dawn, Arthur, or your back?"

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."