Health-conscious Thinkers T-Shirts

Signs at the entrance of a cemetery pointing to the "Smoking" and "Non-smoking" sections.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Running

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

Wash your hands

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

What's really in junk food...

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

Coronavirus Blocks Food Delivery

"Middle age is when you finally get your head together, but your body starts falling apart."

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

'Oh now that is just wrong.'

'At least my blood pressure is nice and low.'

"We're very green here, we recycle everything."

'Be patriotic. Food prices are rising. Eat less.'