Health-conscious Individuals T-Shirts

"Walking in the hall carrying a file folder makes you look busy. This allows you to get an aerobic workout and nobody is the wiser."

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

New Normal

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"I can exercise as long as I avoid becoming light headed, flush, or short of breath. Of course, if I could have avoided those symptoms a few months ago I wouldn't be pregnant in the first place."

Fast Food Death

'It sure killed it for me when they changed it to 'this little piggy had mostly chicken and fish.''

Weight watchers

'I should've stayed the way I was. Now, I have to exercise, watch my cholesterol, and dodge this little pest called Cupid.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Wash your hands

Running

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Flash Cuisine

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Spring.

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Okay, who hasn’t eaten a McDonald’s burger in the past two days?"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"There. Straight from the organic veggie patch. The world's most expensive carrot."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"