Health-conscious Teacher T-Shirts

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Distance to avoid contagion

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

WHO checklist

Office Ergonomics.

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Flash Cuisine

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

'Must you always point out my floss?'

'Is it organic?'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

Spring.

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

What's really in junk food...

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

Middle Manager

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'