Health-conscious Teacher Pillows

"O.K. Kindergarten friends, let's sing together... 'If you're happy and you know it - and you've washed your hands for at least 20 seconds and you've squirted some sanitizer on them - clap your hands.'"

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

Distance to avoid contagion

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

WHO checklist

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Office Ergonomics.

"It's time we discuss menopause and climax change."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Extra large sanitary pads and extra small ones, pads for the night..."

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Too Skinny, Too Fat

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Flash Cuisine

'Must you always point out my floss?'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'Is it organic?'

'...and that concludes this seminar on healthy living. Now, if anyone cares to join me, I'm off to that new place down the street for some steak and a few beers.'

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

Spring.

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

What's really in junk food...

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

Middle Manager

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'