Health-conscious Magician Pillows

'And a piece of algae for Omega 3.'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"This will be a tricky operation."

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

Lazy plumber.

'Needs more kale.'

"No animals were harmed during this performance!"

'I warned you counselor, no more tricks.'

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"Let's be honest here and admit we're targeting the 'stupid-with-their-money' demographic."

An aspiring magician as well as a top notch surgeon, Dr.Curmbott always tried the old tablecloth trick after each operation.'

"I swear, you won't be able to tell the difference, plus, turkey eye of newt is much healthier for you."

Ok, the first challenge is to throw out all the cheap crap in the swag bag we just gave you.

"You're leaving?" "Yeah, today's kids are so demanding so I've decided to move to a gluten-free, lactose-free, nut-free, sugar-free neighborhood."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"Turn me into a toad if you want to, but you still have to post the nutritional information on your brew."

"Is there a vegan substitute for eye of newt?"

"No fog lips, rat guts or bat teeth? I hate going vegan!"

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'

'It's true. Since I've been using this organic stuff, my potions are far more effective.'

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

"Wait a second- is that organic?"

Lunar Powered Broomstick

'And a piece of algae for Omega 3.'

Voodoo

"Escape is within your grasp, if only you summon the courage to say 'excuse me'."

'I'm on a diet -- just make it a TWO-bean salad.'

Moses parting the birthday cake

"Of course we're going to share. You can have all the healthy stuff."

"Oh, just picking up the pieces of my life after a really traumatic haircut."