Health-conscious Gambler Pillows

"Place your bets! Place your bets!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

"Oh, I almost forgot: This time, if you have a good hand, don’t say, 'Meowee!'"

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

Doctor's poker.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

'Will you make the final table?'

"I'd get out of the volatile, capricious, irritating stock market. . . but I might miss out on further gains."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'Remember, guys... we've got to clean up this mess before the folks get home.'

Maybe substituting chocolate cookies for poker chips wasn't such a good idea.

A tortoise walks away from a poker game, having lost its shell.

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

I want you to give this project the same energy and enthusiasm you give the pools syndicate and the office lottery.

Inventing the roulette wheel.

"Trevor's nose is running."

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

'Double or nothing on the second opinion, Doc?'

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

Welcome to Las Vegas - a faith-based community.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

Mental Telepathy Video Games.

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

Slug roulette.