Health Cautionary Tale Pillows

'I've been looking over your medical records.'

The new normal

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

HELLth Food Sprouts

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

'We don't have the answer, but we're really getting off on the attention.'

"Well your results would be normal if you were a 108 and smoked a 60 a day!"

'Remember your blood pressure, dear!...the Dr, warned about anything that would anger you, like this divided congress and their inability to compromise on things beneficial to the nation.'

'Luckily you caught it in time while you're still alive to sue.'

"Will he be okay?"

Just in time for Halloween...

"Interesting greeting ritual."

'The medication wont cure you, but it's side effects will!'

'Yes, I suppose I can learn to live with the pain in my foot. After all, I've been living with a pain in the neck for years!'

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19

'I haven't read the health columns this morning. Is coffee out or in today?'

'You have a parasite, I'm afraid.'

'Get back! Get back! Or so help me...I'll eat it!'

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

CITY HOSPITAL, 'It's all right, officer -- I'm an outpatient.'

"You know, the hardest thing is getting them to admit they don't have a problem!"

"Welcome to Smart Eating Weight Loss. We've changed our menu options... have you?"

"The light at the end of a tunnel turned from green to red."

Covid Games

"What other diseases have you seen on TV that you'd like to be reassured you don't have?"

"The bowels, the bowels."

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

Caution: Do not try and make sense of our medical warnings whilst operating heavy machinery.

'If the ECG isn't broken then we have problem'

'I've found this lump on my testicle, would you like to have a look?'

Light Mayo

"What do I do? He refuses to sleep on his own."

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'