Health Buffs In Disguise Gifts

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

"It's good you're avoiding radioactive pieces of your destroyed home planet that deprive you of your superpowers... but you should also watch the sodium."

'He's fine, it's only man flu not swine flu.'

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Man with broken leg in cast.

Looking at magnetic polarity one understands why an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"I've just overheard the doctor say the farmer has the flu! We all know what that means: chicken soup!"

So, have you had this 'human flu' yet?

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

'Talk about high-tech! You'll be getting a pacemaker ipod combo.'

"Can't talk now. Cramming for tomorrow's stress test."

Medicare: More is Better!

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

Zika Mosquitos

'There's no cure, but the good news is we have some great support groups!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Man exiting store: 'Since I've been taking the bee pollen, I've been stopping to smell the roses more often.'

'It's some sort of side effect of swine flu!'

This guy smells like he just got the Covid vaccine. Do you think it's safe to bite him?

"The good news is your weight and cholesterol are stable. The bad news is the research has changed."

Gym. Stay young through diet and exercise. I find it much easier to just lie about my age.

'I had a larger sample for you but I had trouble getting the lid back on. . .'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

DHSC considering as-yet unlicensed flu vaccines to boost supply

'Gasp! Wheez! Nobody told me that once you have a heart you also need cardio!'

Vaccinating the Easter Bunny

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

Doctor to man: 'Laughter is the best medicine, but it's not covered in your health plan.'