Health And Safety Humor Pillows

'Man, it's dark down here. Joey, strike a match so we can find that leaky gas line.'

"Now THAT's what I call a papercut!"

Noah's life jacket demonstration

Safety Barriers

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"Looks like you both suffer from IBS. You...irritable bowel. Your friend...irritable burl."

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

"Wuhan virus, Ebola, West Nile, Asian Flu. . . what's wrong with good old American diseases?"

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

'Get back...there's a thermometer in that filing cabinet that could leap out, smash on the floor and give someone a mild headache.'

Floor Wet When Slippery

Caution Falling Rocks

Dual Airbags

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.

"Has anyone in your family ever had a history of exercise?"

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

"You know, the hardest thing is getting them to admit they don't have a problem!"

'Which of the high cholesterol foods are the safest?'

'Let's talk about the best way to use nicotine patches.'

'Why do you have safety decals on your mirror, Ma?'

"Rodent droppings? Hey! We were wondering where they'd got to!"

'I took a short cut.'