Healing Process Gifts

Patient with a drip on a micro scooter.

'As a teenager, I was constantly abused.'

Self help acupuncture

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

Sigmund Freud.

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Unguided imagery

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

New Age Store.

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

Dog in hospital pushes bone-shaped IV,

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

"I got it in the sales."

'I would have come to you sooner, but you hadn't graduated from medical school yet.'

Broken Heart

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'He touched you and you can walk again? I just got an illegible prescription.'

Traumatology.

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

Brain and heart sweep away the negative

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

Thank you Doctor

'Got anything for a headache?'

'It's me, Jack Gurkenman! I'm your ophthalmologist with the broken left ankle, doctor!'

A woman repairs a broken heart.

Playing With Peace

'Have you got any hip-op?'