Headlines Pillows

Subway. This headline says "New Home Construction Falls." That's ambiguous. It's either economic data or a report about builders doing shoddy work.

Daily News Headline Dept. An athlete who failed as a baseball pitcher, a tennis player and a ski jumper accidentally ran his car into a tree! No curve, no serve, no nerve, no swerve!

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Schengen

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Hate Platforms

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

British savings accounts

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

Support the Ex-Troops

Squeezing the Free Press.

Flags

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

They're Not Just That Into It

"They grow up so fast."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

Torturing the English Language

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Trump pardons

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

A Q&A with President Obama over jobs

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."