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'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Filet minion

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a buoy..."

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"You're wasting your time, I'll never understand which one is Liam Hemsworth and which one is Chris Hemsworth."

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

"Oh, that's just one of those special effects for a film they're making here."

Man is attacked by sea creature.

'I love it when it's windy and we do a Mexican wave!'

Whack! Cartoons are a lot less violent these days. I just saw Wile E. Coyote get walloped by a financial setback.

Wangling War Films How to Make and Fake Them: IV The Fall of Przemysl.

Magic mushroom

"Popular astrologer and psychic Malder Tercado's contract with a national Spanish-language TV network was not renewed. Tercado was reportedly surprised by the news...saying he didn't see it coming."

'Let's see what's going on in the mouse house.'

'I'd like to buy a towel.'

'We won't be needing a kitchen now we can afford take away every night.'

We had a presidential preference poll in school today -- Spongebob Squarepants won.

Tortoise & Hare.

'That mouse must've been here awhile. he's actually built a driving range outside his hole.'

'Apparently I need to lower the dosage of salmon capsules that I'm giving Don and the kids.'

They watch for a while, then, unlike humans, they get bored.

Ned hated being famous: "Hey, everybody! It's the substitute weather guy who wore a green sweater on camera and looked like he had a hole in his body!"

HD television.

Since when does the Cartoon Channel have a pledge week?

Easter Bunny watching 'Dye Hard.'

'Marmaduke will perform that trick no matter how small the audience.'

'Please turn it down - Daddy's trying to do your homework.'

In an instant, Ashley's social life was reduced to the status of pond scum.

'Working from home is great! You can keep your mind occupied watching daytime TV.'