Hat-trick Hero Pillows

'A meeting of the 'Bandy' association for the promotion of 'Hockey on the ice.''

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

I love Basketball.

'Lungs, normal. Heart, normal. Kidneys, normal. For the life of me, I can't figure out where your pain is coming... wait. Do you play hockey?'

Watering the garden in the rain.

Zdeno Chara

Kids playing ice hockey for a medal.

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

Goalie Wall.

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

Athletic Darwinism.

You look like a team player. I like that!

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Hay fever hotline.

"A little high and inside."

Canadian Jesus

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"

GOOOOAAAAAL!

'Now THAT'S just showing off!'

I love hockey!

High-jump book is on top shelf in library.

'Hi Hon, just calling to let you know I'm on my way home.'

'On second thought, you're right. It was incidental contact.'