Hashtag Enthusiast Gifts

After two hours of negotiations, a consensus is near on an official hashtag for the meeting.

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

"#DesertIsland #Paradise #Blessed."

"Good news - there's no hastag for your disease, so it's probably not too serious."

"He's a writer, Daddy. He's the author of several popular hashtags."

Grandparents of the Future

World of Cow: #EATPORK

"Sorry I don't do #smalltalk."

Baby driver

"You may best remember our departed loved ones as, #Ihopethisdaynevercomes."

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Cull people who post pictures of food and use tags like #snackgasm #foodporn #nomnom.

'Three C's and a D, hashtag, grounded.'

"I'm too busy recommending things to experience them myself."

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

"Your work has way slipped, hashtag, fired."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

#notblessed

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

Lynching on social media

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."

"What does it mean? Heck, I don't know! It's mystifying!"

Digital Fomo!

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."