Hashtag Enthusiast Gifts

After two hours of negotiations, a consensus is near on an official hashtag for the meeting.

Spring branding on the Hashtag Ranch.

"#DesertIsland #Paradise #Blessed."

"Good news - there's no hastag for your disease, so it's probably not too serious."

"He's a writer, Daddy. He's the author of several popular hashtags."

Grandparents of the Future

"Professor Marquez, I was especially dazzled by the 22 hashtags in your monologue."

World of Cow: #EATPORK

"#space #time #spacetimecontinum #light #speedoflight...."

"Sorry I don't do #smalltalk."

Baby driver

"#My #name #is #Mike #and #I #am #addicted #to #Twitter."

"You may best remember our departed loved ones as, #Ihopethisdaynevercomes."

'I told you not to live-tweet this.'

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Cull people who post pictures of food and use tags like #snackgasm #foodporn #nomnom.

'Three C's and a D, hashtag, grounded.'

"I'm too busy recommending things to experience them myself."

'Tweet me when I'm flagged...hashtag 'drunk'.'

"Your work has way slipped, hashtag, fired."

"That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritual-awakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #wontSome-bodyThink-of-The-Children?" "ERROR: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed." "That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethings-WrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigh #seriously? #

I'm so sick of 2017, Randy. What? It's still 2016. I know. But everyone's saying how horrible 2016 is and how they can't wait for it to be over. I don't want to be part of the herd, I want to be a trendsetter. There are better ways to be a trendsetter, little buddy. #hashtag-2017-stinks.

That time you realized your hashtags were longer than your message. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat. Tap tap tap. #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy #wthigoh #seriously? #wontSomebodyThinkofTheChildren? Error: You have exceeded the number of characters allowed. Delete delete delete. That time you. #irony #wow #epiphany #wakeupCall #lesson #stopthat #omg #thwarted #notgood #somethingsWrongHere #spiritualawakening #myword #ohlawdy

#notblessed

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

"... And in the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, please tweet with the hashtag #FeelinTheBreeze."

Lynching on social media

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"Could you please focus on the objective of this meeting, Tom... you can get back to your 300 followers later."