Hardware Stores Pillows

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

Witch Hardware

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

Bob's DIY Store

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

Widescreen TV.

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

Flat screen TVs and 3D TVs.

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Pork Lift

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Hardware Store. Do you have any fans? No, I'm not all that popular.