Hardware Stores Pillows

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Sale! Weed Whackers

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

'Better buy one now - before they make them too big to fit into your house.'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Witch Hardware

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

Men's Prayer Group.

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

"That's closer to the shade of taupe I want, but it's still not quite right!"

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

Bob's DIY Store

Do It Yourself Stores: Help Wanted

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

Flat screen TVs and 3D TVs.

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Pork Lift

Ironmongers