Hardware Store Fanatic Pillows

"Is it the hardware store? I would like to order a small piece of copper pipe and two plastic balls!"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Useless add-ons.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

Hardware. You're right, maybe we should sell hammers by the "pound."

Witch Hardware

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"It's called being preemptive."

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

"So long, Mr Schwartz. I'm leaving. Nowadays, software's where it's at."

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Hardware Store. Do you have any fans? No, I'm not all that popular.

Ironmongers

Power and the Glory tools

A man's whole body is twisted after using a power drill.

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

"Let's see if I can find you something sexy for Valentine's Day."

Frankenstein D.I.Y.

'Hell for Mechanics.' 'All of the screws here are slotted, and all the screwdrivers are Phillips.'

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

Fun and games with wires.

Hardware Store: Drone Swatter

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

Say it with Flowers. Say it with power tools.

Nasty Accident.