Hardware Store Wanderer Pillows

Man buying crack filler.

'Oh, we're just here so Rusty can shop around for a new fence to dig under.'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'

Female nail has been hammered in. Says to male nail: 'Sorry, I have a headache.'

'Do you have any duck tape?'

'I'd like you to meet the saw, the hammer and, well, you know the drill.'

'Let's watch 'Remember the Tightens!'' 'No! I want to watch 'I Love Loosey!''

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Stud Finders: 'These don't even work!'

Werehouses.

Hardware Store. Do you have any fans? No, I'm not all that popular.

Dummy no. 5836 was found lying in a pool of his own fake vomit.

'No, I'm NOT break dancing.'

Power and the Glory tools

"Today is catch-your-own day."

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

"Let's see if I can find you something sexy for Valentine's Day."

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

'I'm giving my tortoise a white knuckle ride!'

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

Say it with Flowers. Say it with power tools.

STRIP Hambone: Computer Estimates

Nasty Accident.

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

Food Formerly Sold As Milk/Food Formerly Made with Sugar/Food Formerly Known as Meat/Food Former Fried.

"Why, he's not violent at all, his bolt is too tight."

Have you got any nails? I'm on a diet.

'It's going to be all right, sir. Just slow down and tell me how long you've been lost.'