Hardware Fixer-upper Gifts

'It's definitely a hardware problem.'

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"That's the last time I ask you to fix anything around here!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

The Upholstery Consultant

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

Well paid job

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."

'Well sir, out 'idyllic country cottage' may be a bit extreme, but you have to admit its got potential.'

Chainsaw and Chair

"Do you want to try and put the air conditioner in together or stay married?"

'What did I tell you about buying a flatpack wardrobe!'