Hard Shell Soft Heart Admirer Pillows

'I want something that says I'm a death and sex obsessed psycho... with a heart of gold.'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

bird interprets modern art

Clever visual metaphor used to personify the abstract concept of thought and memory.

"I don't do windows."

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

Jackson Pollock Signs A Rent Check

Prisoner still life painting.

'Picasso'

Dog on a harp

"An overload -- even this is beginning to look like Kitsch."

"Here the artist opted for a more impressionistic approach, because drawing a tree is hard."

Snow is falling...

"It's a great work!"

"I like it, Julian — it speaks to what a waste of time and money your MFA was."

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Landscape Artists

Harps and Embroidery.

"I don't pretend to be great. I merely know myself to be very, very good."

"The shell has a high SPF, but I still need sunscreen for the rest of me."

A day at the races

'Why, yes madam, these are my paintings. How did you know?'

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

The Big Picture

People with tilted heads looking at crooked art gallery painting

'It's from his, ‘Hey, my kid could do better than that' period.'

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'