Handshaking Gifts

Isn't it nice to exchange some good old-fashioned germs again?

'He wants to close the deal with a handshake. What do you think about that?'

-"What has this got to do with communication?" -"It's my invention...the hand smiley."

Let's shake on it.

"I'll grip but I won't grin."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

"Always give a good, firm handshake...then immediately sanitize your hands."

"I hate shaking hands with him, he always squeezes as hard as he can!"

'Contract? No contract. We do all our business with nothing more than a handshake.'

'I'm fist-bumping all of my patients now, because it spreads fewer germs than a handshake.'

'His references don't check out and he knows zip about the industry--but that handshake!'

Ping Pong Handshake.

"I think the Church is taking this flu thing a little too seriously."

"You're the perfect candidate but I'm afraid your handshake was just a teensy bit soft."

How to tell that it's Howie Mandel's dog you're dealing with.

"Good trial." "Good trial." "Good trial."

"Why do they keep insisting on doing their old secret handshake?"

"Brilliant interview - this warm handshake means you've got the job."

Man looking at 'wash your hands' sign in dirty bathroom.

"I've washed my hands so much, I have 'dishwater hands'!"

'Those political campaign websites are getting really sophisticated.'

"Attaboy... a good, firm grip. Now, let's go sanitize our hands!"

Shake, boy, shake! Are you insane?

Men shaking hands without touching

Liberation. You've removed your hypochondria mask. Is flu season over? Possibly for good. There's new research that shows that the warming of the globe is inhospitable to those @#$% flu bugs. The viruses thrive on cold weather. That might be why fly and head colds have been relatively mild. It's just wonderful. Of course, I still won't be shaking hands, or hugging, which are disgusting habits. And we'll all die when the planet overheats because we have no ozone. Are you sure you @#$ whining isn'

Shaking hands.

Bob practices lying.

Businessmen with hands in each others' pockets

'Please don't call me Mr. Carruthers. Mr. Carruthers is my father. I'm Dr. Carruthers.'

"I like a man with a good, firm elbow bump."

"If you expect a treat you'll need to firm up that handshake."

Elbow bump

Happy Birthday Hand Wash

"I guess the fist bump as a greeting isn't quite confrontational enough these days."

Elbow bump