Half-time Hero Pillows

"You're back! You're really back...!"

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"It may have been just a kick-about in the garden, but Eric took things very seriously."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

'I'll be late - had to think big again.'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

"We'll see who wins on Sunday, and more importantly, if we'll hear 'Not Like Us' at halftime."

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

'I want to thank each of you for coming through in the clutch, putting in some overtime and seeing this project through to completion.'

'Can't it wait until halftime?'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

Covid Defender

Man watching a flower slowly wilt, and just as its about to die he waters it

"Finally, your halftime show - the Mueller report!"

"Where are you getting those notes from?"

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"

"Oh, Jenkins! Sorry, I forgot to tell you that you have worked enough overtime. You can go home now."

'Can you turn the game on? I need to know when halftime is over, so I can get back to play.'

GOOOOAAAAAL!

Robot League Baseball. The player upgrades are great this year! New batteries and antennas will increase our home runs and decrease strike outs. They'll hit with more power, yet still make consistent contact! A software patch will cut down on errors. And the catcher's signs are encrypted now so they won't get stolen. Even with all that stuff, the most important upgrade is organic, grown in a biology lab! Yeah, every member of the pitching staff has a live arm!

Unpaid overtime.

'Gentlemen, about playing touch football during the noon hour...'

'Hi Hon, just calling to let you know I'm on my way home.'

"Stand still, for God's sake, we're trying to give you a kiss."

"We'll swop at half time."

'Lassie, come home!!'

"According to personnel staff are working an average of 10 hours unpaid overtime a week."

'Yo, coach! I think I found that promising young fielder with the hot bat who suddenly disappeared in the playoffs last fall!'