Habitual Latecomer Gifts

"Well? We're late and all the good trees are taken."

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"Sorry I'm late. Traffic was fine. I just don't like any of you and don't want to be here."

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"He's never up before eleven."

Niche Extracurriculars

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'Here he comes in his jimjams - cutting it fine with out breakfast today!'

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

'Gravity wins - again.'

Bed and Lunch: For People Who Like To Sleep In

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

'I promised my Dad I'd be home by ten but I didn't say if that was P.M. or A.M..'

Diet Enforcer

'Maybe I'm not a failure — maybe I'm just a late bloomer!'

The breakfast of teens.

'Sorry I'm late, I was caught in a hole in the space time continuum.'

"The trouble with this town is there is no day life."

'Myself, I'm not a morning person, so I'm definitely not interested in one of those up-at-the-crack-of-dawn types, you know what I mean?'

"Sorry I'm late, but I was somewhere else."

"Sorry I'm late, I was asleep when my alarm went off."

"I hope we haven't come at a bad time."

Eating Alone

"I don't know which is harder-- getting Smythe started in the morning, or his computer."

The clock for people who have no idea when they will be there.

"I wouldn't say he was a creature of habit - more of a creature with bad habits."

"You've got to be kidding. It's freaking noon!!"

'Sorry folks you've missed this cartoon.'

'C'mon son - shake a leg.'

"Baldo, don't tell me that's what you're having for lunch."

"Baldo, get up! It's 1 o'clock in the afternoon! And take that auto window tint off your windows!"

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

"We're naming this new virus after you, Bernie, because it never makes a move until after eleven o'clock in the morning."

'I don't like changing my habits. That's why I'll have what I already know I don't like.'

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, but I say it's lunch. If it were the other way around, I'd be dead by now, since I've been sleeping through breakfast for years.