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Habits vs. New Year's Resolutions

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"I think we have run out of time..."

"OK Dad, I've counted and categorised all the trees in our part of the wood: Now we can start on our sustainability plan..."

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

Seeing the marriage counselor.

Rain forest ends here.

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

A man working on a model airplane

An occassional clean out should prevent unpleasant smells.

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Smoking Cessation Clinic - Formerly The Pub.

Addiction Research Centre.

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'Stop repeating yourself, Brown!'

Procrastinators Anonymous: Just wait and see.

'Scanning articles without finishing them on the Internet is affecting you. You're not finishing anything.'

"He's so bossy I call him Big Brother!"

'Diet patch, stop-smoking patch, birth control patch...'

'You don't even know you're doing it, do you?'

Gps to advise on 'lifestyle' issues

'That's it - I'm leaving home!'

Tieing smoking to the stock market: 'Are you kidding! I can't quit while the market is so volatile!'

Human Cull: People who constantly sniff, instead of blowing their nose.

"We're being phased out."

'That's the thing when you start living with someone - you discover all of their little habits.'

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'