Habit Changer Pillows

'You've got to stop living in the past.'

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

'That's not what I meant when I said you should change your habits!'

"I'm on a social media diet. I'm giving up tweets."

"Yes, Mr. Hargraves, thumb-sucking can be cured. But first let's talk about what your other hand is doing."

'I kicked the coffee habit!'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Maybe clean out your wallet

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'It's not my fault that I've developed habits that cannot be sustained.'

"You won’t need refills."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Full fatHalf fatVirtually fat free.

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'Doctor, the patient would like to know when he can return to being an overbearing, stressed-out pig?'

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

"I'll kill you if you crack your knuckles again."

Seeing the marriage counselor.

"It has come to my attention, Collins, that you are hydrating on company time."

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'The nicotine patch should get you off the nicotine gum.'

List of things to do today. Make list of things to do tomorrow.

"He downloaded one of those apps that helps you quit smoking."

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

'I finally kicked the fire breathing habit, now I'm stuck on mints and I'm gaining weight.'

"Well, last year I kicked gambling. . . the odds are 3 to 1 the New Year will be a good one."

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"Don't worry. She usually breaks her fitness resolution within the month."

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

Talking about smoking to a therapist who is a smoker.