Ha-ha Hero Gifts

Man with fake shark fin hat encounters shark with fake human legs.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

"He was a very good boy."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

Dancing Doctor

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

Keyworker

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

PROBLEM AREAS

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'What's holding him up?'

"I was hoping summer camp would be more ... campy."

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

"You're sick of this? Just try to imagine how we feel."

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

"...we have a heart-lung-kidney-liver-spleen machine."

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

I love Basketball.

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"It appears your anus transplant has rejected you..."

Medical Examinations.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'Very funny!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"You call all this a side effect?"

"First, do no harm. After that, go nuts."

Surgery has sign on wall saying 'To Err is Human.'

"They also left a pamphlet on the benefits of breast feeding."

'We're trying to use a team approach to medicine, but we're having trouble fitting everyone!'