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Bizarre But True.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"This feels like an accomplishment."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"We're exclusively delts."

'He's maturing early.'

"Full disclosure—I really need this hug."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

Exercising

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"My wife says she wants you to make me fit for purpose."

Exercise Bars

"Excuse me, Doc, my attention wandered. What type of deficit disorder did you say I had?"

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Cheerleaders

'Bigley, you're over-training!'