Gym Comic Relief Gifts

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Touché"

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"Trust me. Don't do it."

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

The First Printed Bible

"That's where the pain gets me, doc."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

'You've come a long way with your anger this year. In fact, I feel that you are ready to meet a special friend of mine...'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

'We want you to start working from home. And not for us.'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"I've changed my mind"

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Exposed and imprisoned.

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

When clowns run out ammunition.

"I don't want to alarm you, but it seems that what you have on your back may actually be my backpack."