Guru Aspirations Mugs

"You know, enlightenment and mustache wax don't really go together."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'Hey! What's the big idea!?!'

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

Guru.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

OM, SWEET OM

'It's normal -- Enlightenment freaks a lot of people out.'

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'Sometimes I think about getting away from all this and get a job as a cab driver in New York city...'

The Guru is away to negotiate movie rights for his best-selling book, 'Money Won't Make You Happy'."

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

'I'm still working on the mystery of how to make a decent living with a tip jar.'

Cable Bill.

'I know we're not supposed to wear them, but I got it for Father's Day.'

"But Mom said to ask YOU!"