Gunk Hoarder Pillows

Mrs. Bortluber saves all the gunk she cleans from her computer.

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

"So that's where all the socks ended up!"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

"Which one of these things is the soap?"

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

"Just eat me, you intolerable pervert."

The traveling Yard Sale.

'True, I don't know a lot about art, but junk, I know!'

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.

Al's Junk: Now selling Russian Govt. Bonds!

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

'It's to help me cut down on gourds and such. It's the pumpkin patch.'

"One day Son all this will be yours."

"And this set comes with a year's supply of replacement socks."

"Someday, Son, this unnecessary and outdated stuff will all be yours."

"Well sold all OUR junk - he bought all this new junk off the table next door."

"One day at a time, Ethel, I take it one day at a time. So far this year, it has been the usual assortment of useless junk. Last week, he located a dump scow, and he spent all this week dragging a 1929 Ford engine block out of the river. . ."

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

Garage Sales

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

"It's Joe's junk yard. He wants to buy some air time on the trashiest show we've got."

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"