Gun-toting Veggies T-Shirts

"You've just raided your last patch!"

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Frank & Ernie's Carrot, Beet, Potato Farm. Lunch break's over --- Shall we return to our roots?

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Rap-scallions

Onion Tears

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

Avocado Timeline

'Needs more kale.'

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

'Not here, Fred.'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

Gardener of the Year.

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

"Any sign of gophers?"

Middle Distance Runners