Gun-toting Veggies T-Shirts

"You've just raided your last patch!"

Allotment

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

Onion Tears

Rap-scallions

"Every year about this time...Tia Carmen gets back to her roots."

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

Avocado Timeline

'Needs more kale.'

"I have to be honest: the job you're applying for is a real no-brainer. Are you sure you're OK with that?"

"The holiday roast has yams, petters, carrots, pumpkin, parsnips, and tomato. What shall we call it?"

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

'Not here, Fred.'

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

Prize vegetables with rude names.

"I'm pleased to say our dishes all have too much kale."

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

'This pea is the first vegetable that I've ever grown so I would like to have it stuffed and mounted.'

"You said we were going to break bread, Mom. These are vegetables."

Gardener of the Year.

'Mom always told us to eat the greens!'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'

Middle Distance Runners