Gun-slinger In Training Gifts

Coffee Shops of the Old West: "Damn it Zeke! How many times do I have to tell you?? When a customer asks for a double shot...he means Espresso!"

Glue gun? Glitter? Dang it, I grabbed my crafting belt again.

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

"Better luck next time, kid."

"Are you sure how to use a baitcaster?"

Son, you'll never be quick on the draw unless you pull your dang pants up.

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

Pranking Zombies

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"I'm using a silencer!"

Cowboy spins guns, spins himself.

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

Menace.

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

'No, I haven't seen any South American killer bees.'

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"