Gun-slinger In Training Gifts

Coffee Shops of the Old West: "Damn it Zeke! How many times do I have to tell you?? When a customer asks for a double shot...he means Espresso!"

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

"Are you sure how to use a baitcaster?"

"Better luck next time, kid."

Non-violent Western (Cowboys with water pistols).

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Pranking Zombies

'It's called a 'hat' -- you tip it to women instead of hitting them over the head with a club.'

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'

"Belly rubs later, girl. Belly rubs later."

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'Shh, Ben's running it right to us. That's his 'I've got everything under control' howl.'

'I counted six shots! Rush him before he can reload!'

"Okay, I'm not the fastest gun in the west. . . but I am the fastest gun in my immediate family!"

"I'm using a silencer!"

"I'm thinking of changing my name."

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

Everyone agreed big Jake was slow on the draw..But effective.

"At the last minute, his personal physician always intervenes."

Menace.

Nobody Comes Between Nancy & Her Mondrian

"No, no, I think it's 'two-gun' Pete you're after!"

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

'So you've decided to drop the whole 'man with no name' image, have you?' 'Tarquin Chadwick, Gunslinger'

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'That stranger's tellin' the truth, sheriff. Ol' Buford here done went into his windup first.'

'Daddy! Your hammer doesn't work good!'

"If I don't get to shoot somebody soon, I'm going to have to shoot somebody."

"I said reach for the sky stranger. It's a figure of speech. I didn't mean literally!"

'No, I haven't seen any South American killer bees.'