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"O.K., but let's say you have up to six hundred intruders per minute."

"The way I see it, the Constitution cuts both ways. The First Amendment gives you the right to say what you want, but the Second Amendment gives me the right to shoot you for it."

"Have you people got any .38 cartridges?"

'That's one heck of a recoil, Bob!'

'Yep, this model was recalled. But you're the first customer to bring back a used one.'

'I wish you would look at me like that.'

'You wouldn't shoot a fellow NRA member, would you?'

"Since I don't have a family, I pretty much use it to protect my other guns."

'Look,I'll do the shooting,you do the hunting.'

'Kicks a little.'

-"Careful with that shotgun. It could go off!" -"Don't worry, I'm covering the trigger with my finger!"

"I want my gun to really scream, 'Look out-he's got a gun!'"

"It helps prevent side collisions."

'Ah yes, that's Henderson. Unfortunately, he found himself in my line of fire.'

"I'd like to keep my gun on."

"We're pretty traditional around here. I handle everything on the domestic front except security."

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'The N.R.A's Written Test for A Gun License.'

"it was an impulse purchase."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

UpperLower Class Pastimes

Man making his friend trudge about beating whilst he stands still shooting

"What the...hey, it's working after all!"

If a nutter tried to join our gun club...

'Five days?! But, he'll be gone by then!'

'He's a gun dog!'

"He's the best hunting dog I've ever had."

'Seriously, how close did the bullet really come to you?'

'Careful dear, that bullet might contain depleted uranium!'

How to clean a loaded gun.

'Slim just can't get use to that target thrower.'

'Harry, don't say anything - just ease back to the pickup and get the guns.'

Pistols at dawn.

'Take my word for it, they're easier to retrieve after I shoot!'

"How much ground do you want to stand?"