Guilt-free Flyer Gifts

'Stop feeling so guilty about flying, you're giving off carbon emissions.'

"Would you like some wings?"

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

A smiling cyclist

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Parachuting bishop.

Jesus Christ

'This exotic dessert I make is guilt-free. I already burned all the calories running around finding the ingredients!'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"You've got to help her ... she has developed a fear of flying."

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

Casual skydiving.

"Who wants to go first?"

God and His Copilot.

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

'I knew I should have bought more insurance.'

'One nice thing about this, it has overcome my fear of height.'

Starting is the scariest part.

Meat Department

"We want to fly the friendly skies, but only with friendly fellow passengers."

"So good to be out of that flying death trap."

"Look at thse plodders down there - what do they know of exhilaration?"

'Would you mind holding my hand Jim? The truth is, I'm deathly afraid of flying.'

Try Bob's Flight School

Excess Baggage: People will do almost anything to avoid paying those fees for checked baggage.

Flight attendant looking out a lighted window.

'I just flew in from Los Angeles, and boy are my arms wings...!'

In Case of Emergency

"The flights are 99p...but it's an extra £435.89 if you want to take them inside the plane!"

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

"I used to be afraid of flying, but thanks to airplanes, not anymore."

'Sorry about the screaming during that air pocket, back there.'

Priests on plane - "We must be near head office."

Words you don't ever want to hear: 'I keep forgetting - east, is that to the left or the right of north?'

Balloon Thrill Ride