Guest With Giggles Prints

Beware of the Dog Hair.

Party Animals.

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

"I might just get a pie."

J. Wilbert Dentist - Sorry We're Open

'I still say it was a mistake having the ceremony TOO close to his stag night!'

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Just a heads-up, the Mushroom and Crab Risotto doesn't like its photo taken."

'Sorry, what was that?'

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

"Leave room for sex."

"You've done it, Martin - you've taught him to smile!"

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

"This artificial flavouring doesn't taste like artificial flavouring."

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

They're short of staff!

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

'Waiter? You're in my soup!'

"Filet Mignon, medium irradiated."

"My bouche was not amused."

"Too righteous?"

Chez Pretentious Restaurant - All you can pronounce ?25.

'I revel in competition. I have two charities, right now, vying for my $50 donation.'

"It's called 'salad,' but it's really just a hunk of raw meat."

'You Know Who got into my closet.'

Attend to wall climbers...clear out exhausted annuals.

'Psst. I got a powerful feeling Jimbo has a full house.'

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

Pogo-stick and the Gardener.

'Daisys squirting-no punch line'

'We found it washed up on the beach and thought it would make a nice water feature.'

"I don't feel like going on a walk today, so I got me an Uber to take me around the block. You need the exercise, so you can walk beside the car."

My problem isn't that the key to success is hard to find, it's that the key to failure is always left in the ignition.

Man Blowing Trumpet into Drum

"How can you look into those eyes and make her sleep outside?"