Guest Houses T-Shirts

'Now here's a place I like!'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Here's to East, West, South and Bridgehampton, and all the little Hamptons in between."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Mattress sale

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'Can I sleep over in the real world? Please, please, please, please.'

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Looks like the Brits have discovered space tourism.'

"At least we agree that buying a glass house was a lousy idea."

Bathroom Fashion

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

"Why can't duvets be square?"

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

Guest Houses.

"Does the water always come through the ceiling like that?"

'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'

'Don't worry dear, he's waiting for a fly.'

'This is the one I'm most proud of. It's for picking the right wine last Thanksgiving.'

'These are for Ken's homemade Chenin Blance. Trust me, you'll need them.'

"Will you be requiring a wake up call?"

Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.