Guardian Of Propriety T-Shirts

Lovers' leap with chaperone observation point.

The Bearskin Hat Family

"Hi, Mom - We learned in school today that ethics and morality are stupid and old-fashioned."

Beefeater

"My parents call it a blanket hanging from my ceiling. I call it a giant privacy filter."

Bleak House

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'But what about the 4th Amendment?'

"It's actually called 'snow white, the seven dwarfs and the damned biting watchdog.' But of course they don't tell us about that ."

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

'Ok...something, but nothing you'd care about. Honest!'

'Polly wants a machine gun.'

"Our founders built this company on a certain set of principles. But since they're all dead and nobody wrote anything down, looks like we're screwed."

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

'Nap time's over, Ms. Doan. You have to wake them up.'

Code Red!

"The custodian's job is 10 percent janitorial and 90 percent as my bodyguard."

Lollipop mask

Pizza delivery to heaven.

Church Zone - Thou Shalt Not Speed.

'We hope you understand that you're not worth risking on our new carpet, and your feet will smell if you take your shoes off.'

'You're home early. I thought you were going to the gym.' 'I did. And then I saw a big sweaty butt print on the stationary bike seat, and well, here I am.'

"Proud parent of an honor student? Eh, whatever. Parent of an honorable student? Now that would be impressive."

Firemen catching a gargoyle falling from a burning building

"He intends to die with dignity. He desires a modest funeral, and he's determined to prevent the buzzards from getting any part of the estate."

Beefeater

Databank - 'If you did it, we know about it.'

"Why can't I play with her now?!"

'Fersteinser believes in strictly minding his own business.'

Do Not Cross the Vatican