Grumpy Romantics T-Shirts

"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"

Life is for the birds.

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I know we just met, but all I got is a twenty-four-hour pass!"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Lover's lance isn't the same as it used to be!'

Cupid

"It's our most popular gift - a helium cookie."

"Oh I have plenty of sex appeal. It's all here in my bank baalance."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"Everybody meets online these days."

Puppy Love

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It started with a kiss - then their nose rings got locked.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

'As a romantic guy, nature always makes me thoughtful. Right now, I think about fast-food restaurant stocks.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

Consenting Adults.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'There are lots of fish in the sea.'

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"You need a mint."

"If this means we're married the future looks gnarly."

Heart is sewn back together.