Grumpy Guru Pillows

Desk Bins of a Curmudgeon.

'Bob's served the company as man and boy, and as cantankerous old moaner who doesn't understand IT.'

"It has been very dry lately, except on your father, of course."

First Principle of Human Crankiness

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

"I...hate...pinata parties."

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

Moan Pig.

Pissed-off hour.

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'

'FQ...?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Wait, I've got sand in my shoe."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Old Man Journal

'Cheer up...'

Moanathon.

Grumpy Old Men

'Kids get right up my nose!'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'Sunnyside down.'

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"Tuna on rye, hold the smile."