Grumpy Friend T-Shirts

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Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Mood swings: Swing 1 - 'Looks like it's going to be another wonderful day!' Swing 2 - 'Who CARES link brain! I hope it rains acid!!' Swing 3 - 'I think i'm going to CRRRY!'

Old Man Journal

'I try to avoid the trap of letting my idleness define me.'

"Oh my God with the singing!"

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

Grumpy Old Men

'I know how you feel.'

'Kids get right up my nose!'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"To be perfectly honest, Tarquin, I get fed up listening to your stories about 'the good old days'."

"If you're going out, pick up some candles."

'It's not just drugs - Fenton has zero tolerance for everything!'

'FQ...?'

"Being in the now today sure ain't like the good ol' now!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

"Knock it off, will you, Tom? I've had a lousy day."

Moan Pig.

Pissed-off hour.

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

Grumpy old men: I was an nwanted child, even my mother left me before I was born.

'The problem with politics is politicians!'

'I've had it with your bright, sunny, upbeat...'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'Mrs Gridlington doesn't like being referred to as 'duck' or 'dearie'...so I just call her 'the old trout'!'

'Looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the street this morning.'

Have A Nice Day (piss off)

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"

"I'm sitting here going over all my troubles in my mind..."

The Ultimate Pessimist: "The glass is half empty and what's in it is toxic."