Grumpiness Observer T-Shirts

'Dear, your father is just a big crab these days.'

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'Why am I such a grouch?'

Old Man Journal

"You have the Hum bug.'

Everyone at happy hour is grumpy.

Thanks for making the breakfast meeting, Harris.

'Cheer up...'

Actual reader mail. Dear Dr. Sadie, Bless you Doctor. I wrote you back last July and asked you if I could expand my grumpiness beyond getting up in the morning. I took your wonderful advice and now there isn't a neighbor, fellow employee or friend that's not fed up with me. You have given me a new existence and once I get out of this lousy jail I'll let the rest of the world know just how annoying I am. I owe it all to you, Sadie. If you ever need a testimonial, call me. Signed, An ol' stick in

Middle age means a constant struggle not to be irritated by everyone and everything.

At the Irritable Bowel Syndrome Convention.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

"You're still grumpy. See if you can get a refund on that Happy Meal."

I HATE STUFF

"Well, we’ve covered the weather, my prostate, your incontinence … I suppose our idiot children are up next?"

Uncle Murray Weekly

"Is everything okay, dear? You're smiling!"

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're just getting grumpier.'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

"But a deep sense of grievance and indignation IS my Happy Place."

It was only a matter of time until Gertrude turned into a grumpy cat.

"It's armageddon week on TV. The death of hope always lightens his mood."

'Face it Marvin, you're a madstrom of conflicting emotions.'

Bakery Window: Cross Buns and Cross Gingerbread Men!

'Dinner.'

'Don't you snap at me, mister!'

Moan Pig.

'Be advised, Monday through Thursday I don't do 'perky'.'

"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."

Grumpy Moody Boy.

Old woman staring at pregnant woman's bump.

'When did I become so old and morose?' 'I know. It seems only yesterday you were young and morose.'

'You'll love Elliot, Father, He despises everyone even more than you do!'

Why weathermen are forced to retire at 55.