Grudge Archivist T-Shirts

"Oh, not much. Just sitting here sifting through an old scrapbook of past injustices and imagined slights."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

Letter Collecting Nerd

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

'From albums to 8-tracks to cassettes to CD's...What a long, loud trip it's been!'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

Catalogue of little books.

"I think I'll keep a diary..."

We have a nice selection of office artifacts, a typewriter, carbon paper, ashtrays, our CEO's last handwritten memo...

'Remember me, Fred? I sat next to you in class and you said I'd never amount to anything.'

Attic of hopes and dreams...

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

'Lost Diary'

Today's alpha-lesson is "Keep a journal." The average person lets life pass them by. The events of their lives fade into nothingness. An alpha knows that long after they're gone, their thoughts and experiences will be of great interest to historians. That's not an original thought. I read it in the papyrus Randus Maximus XIV left in a safe deposit box after he helped conquer Judea.

'It's true that my wife does forgive and forget - the trouble is that she never forgets what she's forgiven...'

"I've recorded every noise my baby makes, so that when he's older I can play it back and he can tell me what he was trying to say. . .!"

'The last Doctor to go into medical records has still not been found.'

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

Dive in Archive.

"I'm still looking, sir?"

'I can't remember the title,but it was on a little white piece of paper.'

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

Library. Frank, I need to locate some biographies. Do you know where these are? This King Tut book is stored in a box down in the basement. The Napoleon biography is with the short stories. And the Henry Ford book is in the autobiography section. Unfortunately, this Amelia Earhart profile is missing. It mysteriously disappeared years ago. And what about the Albert Einstein bio? It's right up there, on the top shelf. The book about Einstein and his theories is way over your head, Ernie!

"Nice try, but I'm still angry."

National Archives

'In today's electronics world, printed books have become historical and museum pieces.'

"Hey! This was rubber stamped!"

"Now to file 50 million completed Census forms"