Group Therapy Devotees Pillows

'Instead of trying to find the perfect cell mate, try being the perfect cell mate.'

"Here we are."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

Support groups for car repairs.

'I'm stressed: My dad was a champion, my mum was a champion, there's a lot of pressure on me to become a champion...'

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

"It's my 30-day chip. One month catnip free."

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

Post-psychoanalysis

'My best friend threw her bouquet to me at her wedding, and I ATE it!'

'Just because they're afraid of you, it doesn't mean they don't like you.'

Psychoanalyst turtle trying to help turtle patient come out of shell

'Group hug anyone?'

Psychiatry. I'm not fooling anybody but myself? Well, that's a start!

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

I was toilet trained a month early, and it's been downhill ever since

Cracker nice, but Polly want more.

"We're not a couple. He's just my ride."

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

"Please join me now in a group meditation."

"Good news, you don't have imposter syndrome - you really are a good boy."

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"

Studying Fire Behavior

"I was bound and beaten for what seemed like hours, and it only cost me a hundred bucks."

'What do you mean, I'm immature.'

Sadly, Barbara was the only one to show up at the support group for those with abandonment issues.

Group discount therapy.