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Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I love this supermarket; they have the easiest to understand wine department.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

Witches Checkout.

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

'Look, Mum, those loaves have had some babies!'

Friendly bacteria

'I tried those once. They leaked.'

'Are these mushrooms edible?'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: After a Fashion

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

Mouse shopping after hours

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"Someone's gone to look for a price - they won't be long!"

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"Louie 'Three Fingers,' Tony 'The Chin,' Joey Alfonso... Dang it, Vinny, you brought me the hit list instead of the grocery list!"

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

"I know I've matured because I choose to purchase my own candy instead of stealing my children's."

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

"Today is catch-your-own day."

Little Miss Muffet in Store.

Woman has man in shopping trolley