Grocery Renegade Mugs

'A coconut, a jar of pickled pig's feet, five pounds of leeks, a dozen owl eggs. . . you lost the list I gave you, didn't you?'

LAY ZEE FUK

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

"Everything's gone up."

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

BLACK HOLES, the space path of least resistance.

"I know I should have gotten a cart, but I can't give up now."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Give him his food."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

"Now, what? I'm wearing a hair net."

'Did you follow a recipe book for this dish?'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

"If it says to add water, and I'm the one who adds it, I'm cooking."

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"My husband can carry up to fifty times his body weight: he's great to go shopping with..."

Solar Storm Expected!

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Complaints (just kidding).

'Due to concerns about Global Warming...I'm through with cooking.'

Leonardo Meets the I.R.S.

"They do require a jacket and tie but they're not real dogmatic about it."

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

'As many items as I want or no customer!'

'How many potatoes to make a bottle of vodka?.'

"This recipe turned out awful despite me substituting every major ingredient."