Grocery Gossiper Pillows

'Well, my boy may be reading at the third grade level, but he's swearing at the sixth grade level.'

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Alphabet soup

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'They're doing their tests now?

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

Dadonomics

"I don't know why I bought all the food. We're having a Zoom party."

"So, Bond, we finally meet again."

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

Have a nice day - This Means You.

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

Food Pyramid

Under New Management

"Oh, my. . . Billy is so cute!"

Yellow Brick Road leads to...Tesco.

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

"We don't need dirty, ugly vans and trucks. Our tofu-soy-stuff gets delivered to the supermarkets by lovely unicorns!"

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'