Grocery Gossiper Pillows

'Well, my boy may be reading at the third grade level, but he's swearing at the sixth grade level.'

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"Okay, lets see what we have here."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

"WIFI, Amazon, credit cards. Pretty much every password is named after me."

Alphabet soup

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

'I'm home, Honey! Come see what I picked up at the Farmers Market!'

Do they have to grow frozen vegetables in the winter?

'They're doing their tests now?

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"Mummy! Can't we go to Tescos like everyone else?"

"I don't know why I bought all the food. We're having a Zoom party."

Dadonomics

'He says he's training to be a world champion weightlifter - With a knife and fork.'

"So, Bond, we finally meet again."

"Why doesn't the budget ax ever fall in the produce department?"

'I don't understand how our grocery prices have inflated 15% yet you've inflated 25%'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'

"Apparently, some of the additives cause a nerve disorder, but others cure it."

Have a nice day - This Means You.

Lady in supermarket dilema between good food or bad.

"... And in other news: Still no truce at 75 Greene Street, apartment 3F."

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

Food Pyramid

"It's not a coupons. It's a printout from your health insurer warning you to cut back on the carbs."

Under New Management

Purified Water. Look at these prices! Distilled waters run steep!

'Sorry, the bag boy's down with the flu,'

Having Fame and Fortune thrust upon him, Gordy is forced to advertise for an entourage.

"They call him the avocado whisperer. He knows when they are about to turn."

'The first dozen ingredients in this cereal are various sugars.'

"I said bring back a tin o'tuna, you big dope!"

"We don't need dirty, ugly vans and trucks. Our tofu-soy-stuff gets delivered to the supermarkets by lovely unicorns!"