Grief With A Twist Pillows

Tombstone: I told you I was sick!

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"We laughed. We cried. But mostly we watched TV."

S�ance "I'm through to your husbands voice-mail"

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

'Hope it's legit. I never had the chance to say good riddance.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

"After losing my partner, I felt lost until I realized I had not only an empty shell but also a short-term accommodation business."

"Sorry, wrong room."

'Actually,I didn't start drinking until his dog died.'

Cemetery: Communicated with your loved one see Madam Zolta within.

'Our five-course dinners start with denial, followed by anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.'

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

'I don't understand it! On earth he was deathly afraid of flying.'

''On behalf of my colleagues I wanted to let you know that we are all crying inside.''

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Sure, it's disrespectful, but knowing old scamp, he'd want us to dig up his bones."

Hedgehog Mortuary.

"Well, well – if it isn't the old crystal ball and chain."

'He was a shooting star, passing through the firmament. Lighting up our dull lives with his all too brief presence.' 'I think we're at the wrong funeral.'

"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."

"I can accept Mum's gone, but I can't bring myself to press 'delete'."

'Touching.'

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

Great Joys like griefs are silent.

"I was able to get in one last lecture about diet and exercise."

"I could never leave this place—this is where I grew up."

A stranger in paradise.

"I never got a chance to say 'Shut up.' "

I realize we all grieve in our own way, ma'am, but the crematorium staff did not appreciate the fireworks you put in your late husbands pockets.