Gridiron Hero Pillows

'My knee's in rehab. This one's a loaner.'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

Good luck tonight, xoxo, Coach.

'...However, he is such a heck of a nice guy, we're going to give him the touchdown anyway.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Input From The Front Office

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

'The Wilsons picked up a quarterback in the off-season. The Riveras picked up a quarterback. The Ludwigs picked up a quaterback...'

"Oh, go on Jeffrey. . . Give him an order!"

"This guy's a terrific defensive lineman. I once saw him chase down a quakerback for nearly 40 yards before sacking him. It was in a shopping mall, but still..."

Mark Gastineau

American Football.

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

"Ever since the elevator broke down, we've learned that our staff is in desperate need of a fitness program. Especially, since we're only one floor up."

Snowman Football Fan.

Punishment for the kicker.

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I'd say your pride trumps mine!!!" "Me, too!!!"

Football.

"Okay, he looks pretty stable – switch the middle screen back to the Superbowl."

'That was one of the most beautiful blocks I've ever seen; but you were supposed to carry the ball on that play.'

A muscle pushing a body builders brain out of his skull.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'We've got a personal hygiene foul! Number 70!... Fifteen yards!!'

"I don't care if your mother is watching on telly, just get the ball in the net!"

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Upon further review, the receiver did not establish a meaningful and personal relationship with the football, therefore it is ruled an incomplete pass."

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

Before instant replay.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.