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Dog track - 'Ben!'

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Old Geologists Never Die...they just switch to soft rock.

'Why is it he never understands sit , stay or down, but understands spayed and neutered?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

A skinny dog drawn with zen brush.

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

'...Basset Hound! Anal sacs!'

Lessons from the fossil record: Discarded consumer goods in the anthropocene layer in the rock strata.

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

'The Greyhound, Doctor, is the fastest dog in the world!...'

Beware of dog...poop.

"Not sure if I'm hungry or bored."

'Wow, that really was concentrated dish soap.'

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

'Us finding this rare ore was as likely as an alien tapping me on the shoulder.'

'What's my fortune then?!

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

Could I trade in this greyhound for a dachshund? My doctor says I have to slow up.

The Tragic Story of a Man With a Pace Maker and A Witch With a Microwave.

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

"I find things go around in cycles."

'It's only a checkup!'

'Careful - this is the great canyon we call Everest.'

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

Greyhound/Retired Greyhound